In a recent letter to "Dear Abby," a woman complained about her miserly husband who makes sure she pays her share of the bills "down to the penny." The woman, who remains anonymous, said that while her husband is tight with their family finances, he gives freely to anyone else.
The letter reads: "My husband is so miserly that he insists I pay my half of all our bills down to the penny. He'll even go through receipts and double-check calculations. Yet at the same time, he'll give money away freely to other people without batting an eye. It's like our family doesn't deserve his generosity."
The woman went on to say that it's not just about money – it's also about how they spend their time together as a family.
"He won't take us out for dinner or buy us nice things because he thinks we don't need them," she wrote. "But then he'll turn around and buy expensive gifts for his friends or donate large sums of money to charity."
While being financially responsible is important in any relationship, experts warn that this kind of behavior can lead to resentment and tension between partners.
"Money is one of the top causes of conflict in relationships," says Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, professor emerita at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. "When one partner feels like they're being treated unfairly or unequally, it can create feelings of anger and frustration."
To avoid these issues, Dr. Whitbourne recommends setting clear boundaries around finances and discussing goals openly as a couple.
"It's important for both partners to feel heard and respected when it comes to money matters," she says. "If there are disagreements or concerns about spending habits, try working together on finding solutions that work for both parties."
Ultimately, couples need trust and transparency in order to build a strong financial foundation. While it's natural for partners to have different views on money, finding a compromise and working together towards shared goals can help avoid conflicts and strengthen the relationship.